Week 19 ~ I am

A  fissure opened behind me recently as I was walking down a hallway.  My posture changed, my walk changed, my smile changed, my “be-ing” changed.  In that instant, I knew, I just knew, that nothing would ever be the same.  The struggle may not be over, but the game is different.  Miracles are so close I can feel, taste, smell and hear them coming.

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My old blueprint stopped me in my tracks.  Literally.  I stopped right in the middle of the hallway!  (Good thing that no one was behind me!)  It was not unlike stepping off a curb and nearly being run over by a speeding car.  In that instant, I knew that I could choose to step back up on the curb, to the safety of the known, or I could look both ways, take a deep breath, and step into the unknown future of possibilities.

As I looked back over my shoulder in my mind at the gaping gash behind me that represented the boundary of the past, my past, I could visualize jumping backwards, or turning around and running back down the hallway of time through which I had just passed.  Should I turn around?  Or did I dare keep moving forward into the future and the manifestation of my purpose and dreams?  I knew my answer instantly.

For the first time in a long time, I KNOW and ACCEPT that I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, healthy and happy.  I do not belong in the past, for I no longer fit there.  Just as a puzzle piece to a different puzzle, I fit in the realm of I am possible.  I am nature’s greatest miracle, a flower ready to burst forth in bloom, a sunrise about to fill the night sky with beautiful light and brilliant color.

Vain attempts to imitate others no longer do I make.  Instead I place my uniqueness on display in the market place.  I proclaim it, yea, I sell it.  I begin now to accent my differences; hide my similarities.  So too do I apply this principle to the goods I sell.  Salesman and goods, different from all others, and proud of the difference.

I am a unique creature of nature.

I am rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, I am valuable.  I am the end product of thousands of years of evolution; therefore, I am better equipped in both mind and body than all the emperors and wise men who proceeded me.

(Greatest Salesman in the World ~ Og Mandino

I have been attempting to imitate others, to follow a path that was not mine.  I thought I was being a good student, learning the things that I did not know.  I now realize that authenticity matters.  Without my true nature as my foundation, nothing I build in the future will stand.  The difference now, today, is that I understand what my true nature is, that I no longer have to apologize or justify who I am, or what my dreams are.  butterfly-1984934_1920-2What a fabulous feeling!  I feel as though a beautiful butterfly has suddenly burst forth from the chrysalis, sparkling in the sunshine, admiring her own beauty.  Whoa, you mean I can admire my own beauty?  Now that is a new experience!  I look in the mirror and see God’s wonderful creation and not perceived flaws. As my vision changes from within, I know my vision of others will change as well.  I love this journey!

As I sat and looked back as an observer, instead of the “experiencer,” many things came to me.  I wrapped the frightened little girl in safety, and introduced her to the warrior protector that is also within me.  I showed the lonely teen unconditional love and she believes she is worthy of accepting others’ authentic affection and can recognize what is inauthentic.  I gave myself permission to not accept negative feedback from people whom I have not invited to provide an opinion.  I unlocked and opened the doors in the walls I had built for protection (that were supposed to keep evil out) that only kept pain and suffering in.  The light of the Love of God now streams throughout each cell  of my being. It always has, I just forgot to see it!

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7 thoughts on “Week 19 ~ I am

  1. Mary, this was my favorite statement: “I have been attempting to imitate others, to follow a path that was not mine. I thought I was being a good student, learning the things that I did not know. I now realize that authenticity matters. Without my true nature as my foundation, nothing I build in the future will stand. ” This is an outstanding perspective. Continue to embrace your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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